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The Helper

AT THEIR BEST:

  • Loving

  • Sensitive

  • Caring

  • Generous

  • Sensitive to others’ needs

  • Supportive

  • Enthusiastic

  • Doing meaningful things for others

  • Light-hearted

  • Inner-directed

  • Altruistic

  • Doing good things so people can thrive

  • Giving with an open heart

  • Accepting all of their feelings

  • Self-esteemed

  • Joyful

  • Establishing healthy boundaries with others

  • Looking after their own needs

It is important for you: 

to feel loved and needed; 

to be accepted by others.

You do not feel good: 

when you feel unloved and

not accepted as you are.

Helpers are very friendly, and in turn they are good at forming friendships with others. The most important aspects of their life are family, friendship, love, closeness, and sharing. They are especially good at giving attention to others and being generous and loving.

The people who belong to this type are very empathetic, warm, and have the capability to easily feel the needs of others and to satisfy them. 

 

Helpers can push their opinion by offering help and trying to make decisions for others. They take all of these actions in order to escape from their biggest fear — a fear of being unwanted/unneeded. They believe that they have to do something in order to win the love and acceptance of others.

 

During childhood, Helpers learn that you must first meet the needs of others before you meet your own; that you have to give in order to receive;  and that you have to fight for the love and attention of others because love is not something which is easily given. 

This is how the self-worth of this type is born, through the idea that "if I give I am needed and loved."  

 

To be constantly good in the eyes of others has its price, and often people of this type have to give up their habit of acting "for others" in order to create a truly positive connection with others. Over time, this model of life creates a repressed feeling and inner anger, following the ignorance of personal needs. This can be a life journey for The Helper — to create harmonious relationships where both individuals' personal needs are met.

 

The Helper must find an inner love which does not depend on the judgement of others. Love can be more than simply giving and receiving. When they find more inner love and care for themselves, they become personalities who shine with love for others.  

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What other people of your type say about themselves:

  • I want others to like and accept me.

  • I love taking care and helping others.

  • For me, it is very important to have connection with others.

  • I am caring.

  • I love giving presents to others and buying things I think others need.

  • I am proud of myself when I can help others.

  • It is hard for me to say what I like.

  • When I do things for myself I feel selfish.

  • I am empathic.

  • It is important for me to feel wanted.

  • I always know what others need.

  • I am positive, inspiring others to see a positive side of life.

  • It is hard for me to ask for help.

  • I always look for confirmation from others that I am good.

Image by Drew Beamer

Questions to help understand yourself better

Is it hard for you to ask someone for help? 

Do you feel angry if you are not rewarded for the things you do for others? 

Do you think that other's needs are more important than your own? 

Do you feel like your inner value changes depending on other people's responses?

Do you make extra efforts so others will see you in a positive light?

If you answered “yes” 4 out of 5 times, you most likely hold

the dominant personality type of Helper.

Common mistypings: Type 3, Type 6, Type 9

Two

Idealistic
Focused on principles
Rigid
Irritable
Angry
Indignation
Suppression of feelings
Self-righteous
Perfection
Focus on means

Three

Pragmatic
Focused on goals
Highly adaptable
Masked feelings
Arrogant
Hostility
Detachment from feelings
Charming
Desirability
Focus on ends

Two

Expecting
Read others
Demanding
Self-important
Express displease
Controlling
Helping
Focused
Strong-willed
Engaged
Involved

Nine

Accepting
Idealize others
Accommodating
Self-effacing
Hide displease
Easy going
Comforting
Unfocused
Non-assertive
Disengaged
Withdrawn

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Practices for personal growth:

Notice when you begin to give yourself up and adapt to the needs of others so you can earn recognition and love.

1. 

2. 

Notice when you feel proud while meeting the needs of others and you start feeling important to them because of that.

3. 

Pay attention when you start denying your personal needs, ignoring them in behalf of others.

4. 

Notice when you hope that what you give is what you receive back.

5. 

Notice when you try to create the image of a "helpful" and kind person.

If you wish to discover more practices for personal growth,

check out our brand-new exercise book made specifically for Type Two.

Enneagram Exercises

for personal growth

-TYPE 2-

The Helper

This exercise book was created uniquely to support the personal growth of Enneagram type Two.

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