People of this type typically believe that they have to be good and do what is right in order to be loved by others. They have imagined ideals that they try to live up to, and help others to do the same.
They hold the intention for everybody to become closer to perfection. They feel inside that they have a “mission,” which makes them always want to improve their life and the lives of others.
It is important for you:
to improve your surroundings; to
follow the rules and do the right thing.
You do not feel good:
when you are not good enough;
not right and (bad).
For the Reformer, idealism wakes up their energy and motivates them to work hard and live up to created standards. Their faith and belief in perfection divides the world that they experience into that which meets their ideals and that which doesn’t. In other words, divided into good and bad, right and wrong. It is from here that they find the inspiration to improve their surroundings, in order for them to become closer to the ideals in their head.
In focusing all of their effort toward this constant improvement, they can experience anger toward others who are not doing the same.
People who belong to this type tend to compare reality with how it is “supposed to be,” and have difficulty accepting it as it is. Their inner critic puts them in a state of judgment, which promotes a sense of inadequacy. By living with this outward-facing, judgment-based focus, they do not allow any space to care for themselves and their true needs. This leads them on the endless journey of becoming a “good and right” human being.
This “right and wrong” understanding of the world doesn’t allow the Reformer to experience negative emotions. They deem emotions such as anger to be wrong, and become afraid to express this, as they imagine they will be seen as “bad people.” This results in suppression of these “bad” emotions, often held just beneath the surface.
When the Reformer can release the belief that love and validation only come if you are good and following the rules, they begin to bring a valuable view which is ethical and honest. They start to understand that there is more than one right way to live, and they accept feelings of “not enough” and inadequacy in themselves and others.
The Reformer can have very high standards, and these can drive them to realize something bigger. Their personal journey starts when they question what they really want, rather than just acting in the way that is “right.”
What other people of your type say about themselves:
I love to take responsibility.
I always feel like I have a "mission."
I always follow my word. If I say I will do it, I will.
I have strong critic inside, which controls my thoughts, words and things I do.
I try to be perfect and feel very responsible that everything should be done in the right way.
I become angry when someone does not follow rules and standards.
I have ideals in my head and try to live up to them.
I usually say what I think.
I am afraid to make mistakes.
It is very common for me to control my emotions and personal needs.
I have strong self-control.
I have high standards for myself and others.
For me, honesty is very important.
I want to be right.
I value everything as right or not right, good or bad; there is no middle-ground for me.
I always follow rules and standards.
Questions to help understand yourself better
Do you have clear rules and a "package" of values by which you evaluate your surroundings?
Do you think you need to be good and right to be accepted and loved?
Do you feel angry when someone breaks the rules?
Is it easy for you to see others’ mistakes, as you have a sharp eye for details?
Do you often reject your true wishes and instead do what is right?
Practices for personal growth:
Pay attention when you internally start to criticize yourself.
Is that criticism real or does it only appear because you do not meet your invented standards? Take several deep breaths and release. You are good and enough.
Allow yourself to act as you wish, as often as possible — not as you should act according to set norms.
Take as much time as possible for types of relaxation that have no goals: spending time with friends, playing games, spending time in nature, etc.
Notice when you start worrying about decisions that are based on the fear of being wrong.
Focusing on the good sides of your personality will awaken a sense of gratitude within you.
If you wish to discover more practices for personal growth,
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This exercise book was created uniquely to support the personal growth of Enneagram type One.