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You think you are number four? In Enneagram this type is known as The INDIVIDUALIST. Please become familiar with this type in the description below:

 

The most important mission for people of this type is to find your own "I", to feel personal worth, and more frequently give your own input. The INDIVIDUALIST will push away people who they see as "average', as well as those living a  plain life. They are idealists, deeply experiencing all of their emotions. They are also empathetic and authentic. Their mood can change many times throughout the day. They are very emotional. 

4

The Individualist

The Individualist
target
Questioning

It is important for you: 

Uniqueness, feelings, a need to be different

Your worries: 

To not have personal worth and your  own "I"

The desire to be unique makes The INDIVIDUALIST very creative. Often they choose a profession that is related to art. From the early days, they see themselves as different from other people. They feel like no one can understand them and be capable to love them equally as they do. Their focus is often on the things which separate them from others. They often experience the feeling that something is missing but they can not put into words what exactly it is. Qualities such as: the capability to be able to speak freely, determination, confidence - are qualities which The INDIVIDUALIST sees in others and feels they personally do not have. Even if people of this type feel that they are different, they do not want to be alone.

From the outside, they could appear to not be confident and to push others away. But deep inside they want to connect with others, to understand them and their feelings

 

In Enneagram they are known as romantics, and they always wait until someone evaluates the mystery of their personality, their capability to hide from the world: "No one understands me, I am different and unique". Freedom is very important for them, and they do not like to be restrained. They always have to do things in their own way.  They often see themselves from a negative perspective, comparing themselves with others and always feeling undervalued.  While The Individualist thinks that something is wrong with them, they do not have access to their "good" qualities.  They grow by understanding that a lot of stories in their heads are not true or that they are not true anymore. The majority of the time they create their own image in their head instead of trying to embrace their qualities and talents in reality. The biggest challenge for them is to let go of the memories of past experiences.  

They tend to keep negative feelings toward those who have hurt them. They identify with their own feelings: "I am what I feel". They start to look for intensive feelings in their work and the people in their surroundings. The stronger the feelings, the more true they feel. Inside having a fear if they won't experience any emotions, their creativity and personality will disappear. Wanting to test others if they care about them, they play the game "hide and seek" - they pull back from the people they love hoping those people will see them.  They are especially intuitive and sensitive people, often following their hearts.

talents

Your talents

Unique

Creative

Ability to freely share emotions

Expressive

Empathetic and sensitive to surroundings

Heart

If you are imbalanced

You disconnect yourself from the world around you

Live in your inner fantasies

Think that no one can understand you

Associate with your feelings(I am what I feel)

group of people
Friendship

What others of your type say about themselves

  • I want to be unique;

  • It is important for me to be original;

  • Often I feel lonely even when I am surrounded by people;

  • I spend a lot of time imagining conversations,  which will not necessarily happen;

  • I feel like no one understands me and no one loves me as I love them;

  • I always feel different than the people around me;

  • I love to decorate my surrounding and I always bring some small details to make my home more cozy;

  • I always feel like something is missing;

  • I always admire people who have qualities which I do not have.  I feel jealous and inside undervalue myself, thinking that something is wrong with me;

  • I often compare myself with others and I feel like I am missing something which the other has;

  • sometimes it is hard for me to put my thoughts into sentences. That is why I often end up in silence when I am surrounded by a lot of people;

  • I have a very strong intuition. Most of the time what I think ends up happening;

  • I undervalue others if they do not stand out with their uniqueness; 

  • I deeply experiencing different emotions. I can feel and happy and sad in the same day.

How to get along with you

  • Give me some compliments. It is very important for me;

  • Be supportive. Help me to love and value myself;

  • Value my intuition and imagination;

  • Never say that I am too emotional or that I exaggerate some situations. 

“It always seemed to me that people didn’t see the real me. I have a vision of what I would like to be. I create all the qualities I want, but I often find that I don’t do anything to develop them. It still seems like now is the wrong time, something is still missing for me to achieve my dream. Then I can spend all day watching TV series or movies, so I empathise with the lives of others, experience all the emotions of the characters and forget myself that reality doesn’t seem to exist. Time is running out, I live in fantasies and I realize I’m just postponing my life.

I have learned to accept myself as I am now, with all the qualities I have now. I am practicing to see the positive side rather than always focusing on what I don’t have. If I really feel like I want to develop new qualities, I have a realistic plan for how to do it.” 

- Suzanne, 26.

The story of my life

“As a child, I often felt out of touch in any surrounding I been. I thought those around me didn’t understand me, and I looked to myself as if from another world. I really wanted to be invited to parties, but if I attended I faced the same problem every time - I thought I didn’t have anything interesting to say and that made me stay in silence. When I would return home the thought gnawed at me that I couldn't reveal myself again, to be like others, to joke and talk about nothing. Some part of me wanted to feel like a normal person as those around me did, but at the same time I appreciated that I was different, more mature and seeing the world in a deeper way than others.

I’ve noticed that after learning to push away my belief that I can’t and don’t want to talk about the weather, I met a lot of amazing people because in the end it’s not important how the conversation starts, what‘s more important is where it can take you, since you have the power to give your input on where it goes. It's important to just communicate and find a connection! ”

- Laura, 31.

“It’s extremely hard for me to let go of the past, I often long for what was, I remember all the harms or criticism, and it’s hard for me to forgive people who insulted or rejected me. When such thoughts flood in, I can spend the whole day examining who said or did what and relive the anger and all the emotions. I usually remember the moments that cause me the most emotions, I repeat them over and over again in my head. I have always been very sensitive to the surroundings and taken personally all the words everyone said. I react to criticism very personally. Often the people who hurt my feelings I just push away and never let go or ignore forever, they become worthless to me. I don't want to be like that anymore, now I'm trying to let go of the past and live in the present."

- George, 34 .

Questions to help understand yourself better

  • Do you often find yourself thinking about the past and missing something you do not have at this moment?

  • You look for approval from others that you are unique and different?

  • You always compare yourself with the others, and inside you undervalue yourself thinking that others are better?

  • How do you value your daily life and routine? Does it make you feel sad?

  • You have strong intuition, what do you think about that is happening?

Example of people like you:

Rumi, Frédéric Chopin, Pyotr I. Tchaikovsky, Gustav Mahler, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, Edgar Allen Poe, Yukio Mishima, Virginia Woolf, Anne Frank, Karen Blixen / Isak Dinesen, Anaîs Nin, Tennessee Williams, J.D. Salinger, Anne Rice, Frida Kahlo, Diane Arbus, Martha Graham, Rudolf Nureyev, Cindy Sherman, Hank Williams, Billie Holiday, Judy Garland, Maria Callas, Miles Davis, Keith Jarrett, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen, Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens), Ferron, Cher, Stevie Nicks, Annie Lennox, Prince, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morrisette, Feist, Florence ( + the Machine) Welch, Amy Winehouse, Ingmar Bergman, Lars von Trier, Marlon Brando, Jeremy Irons, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder, Kate Winslet, Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp, Tattoo Artist Kat Von D., Magician Criss Angel, Streetcar Named Desire's “Blanche duBois”  

<-(Source: www.enneagraminstitute.com)

 

Still doubting your type?

 

Get in touch or take a test below:

 

Similar types: The Helper, The Achiever

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Levels of development

Moving Healthy to Average  level

My state of being which show that I am moving to average levels: "I am holding on to and intensifying feelings through the imagination."

"Wake - up call" (read more)  going from healthy levels to average

Moving from Average to Unhealthy level

My thoughts which shows that I am moving to unhealthy levels: "I feel like I am ruining my life and wasting my opportunities."

Red Flag (read more)  moving to unhealthy levels

LEVEL1 Fours let go of the belief that they are more flawed than others and are thus dreed from their self-absorption. Their Basic Desire, to find themselves and their significance,  is also achieved and thus their problems with their identity and its stability are solved. They are self- renewing, redemptive, and revelatory. 

LEVEL2 Fours focus on their own feelings and preferences to establish a clear sense of personal identity. Self- image: "I am sensitive, different, and self- aware."

LEVEL3 Fours reinforce their self- image by expressing their individuality through creative action. They are eloquent and subtle, exploring their feelings and impressions and finding ways of sharing them with others. Their creativity is highly personal but often has universal implications.

LEVEL4 Fours begin to fear that their changing feelings will not sustain them and their creativity, so they use their imaginations to prolong and intensify their moods. They use fantasy and style to bolster their individuality and begin to dream of someone who will rescue them.

LEVEL5 Fours worry that others will not recognize or appreciate them and their uniqueness, so they play hard to get - testing others to see if they are really interested in them. Aloof, self- conscious, and melancholy, they believe that their fragility will attract a rescuer and keep others away.

   More levels we discuss in a class.

Practice for personal grow

  • Understand that fullness exists in the present. Be here and now, feel the moment without letting yourself move into the emotions of the past.

  • To experience the fullness of emotions, they do not have to be intense.

  • You are unique as you are in the present moment, you don’t have to try to be unique.

  • When you focus on what is missing, you lose the opportunity to enjoy what is currently happening in your life.

  • Allow yourself the thought that you are not your feelings. Your feelings reveal only the current situation, no more.

  • Try to always catch yourself when you stray into the past. Bring yourself back to the present.

  • Practice finding at least one unique thing about each person you meet.  Stop judging them negatively. Accept everyone who comes into your life.

  •  Monitor your tendency to maintain a state of sadness that sets you apart from other people. Understand that even if you are happy you will remain unique.

  •  Learn to plan your day and don’t wait for creative inspiration to come. Even a small plan can motivate you to take action.

  • Practice releasing painful moments from the past as they interfere with living in the present.

  • Try not to delay action just because you hope to be in the right mood later.

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*The information writing in the website is based on the knowledge: " Wisdom of the Enneagram"  by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson