Seeing themselves equal to others
Committed to their work and ideas
AT THEIR BEST:
Honest with themselves
It is important for you:
to feel unique and different from others and experience intense feelings.
You do not feel good:
when you don’t feel personal worth.
The most important mission for people of this type is to find their own identity and personal worth. They are one of the most empathic and authentic of all types, and are also especially intuitive and sensitive people, often following their hearts. They are idealists, deeply experiencing the whole spectrum of emotions; their mood can constantly change, often leading to dramatic bursts of emotions which can push others away.
The desire to be unique makes The Individualist very creative. They often choose a profession that is related to art. From early on they already see themselves as different from other people. They feel like no one can understand them or is capable to love them as they themselves are able to love. Their focus is often on the things which separate them from others, which leads to the feeling that something is missing but difficult to put into words what exactly that is.
Even if people of this type feel that they are different, they do not want to be alone. From the outside, they might appear to be shy or arrogant and push others away, but deep inside they want to connect with others and understand them.
They are known as Romantics in Enneagram, waiting until someone evaluates the mystery of their personality and their capability to hide from the world: “No one understands me; I am different and unique.” Freedom is very important to Individualists as they do not like to be restrained and follow the rules of society. Somehow, they always have to do things in their own way. People of this type tend to see themselves from a negative perspective, constantly comparing themselves with others and feeling undervalued.
Thinking that something is wrong with them, they do not have access to their good qualities. They grow by understanding that a lot of stories in their heads are not true or that they are no longer true. The majority of the time they create their own image of themselves in their head instead of trying to embrace their qualities and talents in reality.
The biggest challenge for them is to let go the memories of the past, they tend to keep negative feelings towards those who have hurt them. Type Fours identify with their own feelings: “I am what I feel.” They always look for intense emotions in their work and relationships. The stronger the emotions, the more alive they feel. There is a fear that if they don’t experience any emotions, their creativity and personality will disappear.
What other people of your type say about themselves:
It is important for me to be original and unique;
Often I feel lonely, even when I am surrounded by people;
I spend a lot of time imagining conversations that will not necessarily happen;
I feel like no one understands me and no one loves me as I love them;
I always feel different from the people around me;
I love to decorate my surroundings and I always bring some small details to make my home cozier;
I often feel like something is missing;
I admire people who have qualities that I do not have. I feel jealous and inside undervalue myself, thinking that something is wrong with me;
I often compare myself with others and I feel like I am missing something that others have;
Sometimes it is hard for me to put my thoughts into sentences. That is why I often end up in silence when I am surrounded by a lot of people;
I have a strong intuition. Most of the time what I think ends up happening;
I undervalue others if they do not stand out with their uniqueness;
I deeply experience different emotions. I can feel happy and sad in the same day.
Questions to help understand yourself better
Do you often find yourself thinking about the past and missing something you do not have at this moment?
Do you look for approval from others that you are unique and different?
Do you often compare yourself with others around and undervalue yourself thinking that others are always better?
Could you say that you secretly like being sad and even sometimes intentionally stay in the state of “sweet sadness”?
Do you sometimes intuitively know what would happen or what you should do, but can’t logically explain how do you know it?
If you answered “yes” 4 out of 5 times, you most likely hold
the dominant personality type of Individualist.
Focus on feelings
Withdrawing from people
Focus on duties
Identify with feelings
Detach from feelings
Bothered by feelings
Practices for personal growth:
Notice that when you focus on what is missing, you lose the opportunity to enjoy what is happening in your life right now.
Write down your talents and evaluate them. Notice your belief that some people are better than you, question if this is really true.
Observe your tendency to maintain a state of sadness that sets you apart from other people. Understand that even if you are happy you will remain unique.
Choose a form of exercise you like and practice it regularly. This will help you to feel more grounded and connected with reality.
Be aware when you see yourself pushing to be unique instead of seeing yourself as unique in this present moment for who you are already.
If you wish to discover more practices for personal growth,
check out our brand-new Exercise book made specifically for type Four.
for personal growth
This exercise book was created uniquely to support the personal growth of Enneagram type Four.