You think you are number nine, in Enneagram known as The PEACEMAKER? Please become familiar with this type in the description below:

In their early childhood, people of this type experienced the feeling that their parents forgot them. By wanting to still be seen they decided that if they are able to ignore their personal needs, priorities and dreams they will become people who are very nice to spend time with.

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9

The Peacemaker

The Peacemaker
target
questioning

It is important for you: 

To feel equality, unity and harmony 

Your worries: 

Being disconnected and ending up alone

People of this type have can have repressed anger, which they express to their surroundings in a passive way, for example by being stubborn. Often it is very hard for them to say "no", and to find their own place on this earth. Most of the time they appear between two opposing sides with the instinctive talent to understand all parties. The people of this type often merge with other people's needs and their surroundings, in turn forgetting themselves. This behavior is like a form of protection for themselves, hiding the part of their personality which they think others might not like. Inside they experience fear that if they show their full selves that some of their qualities may wake anger in others leading them to forget these qualities in the way they were forgotten in childhood. Often people of this type choose to be peacemakers, adaptable, and trying to escape from any possible conflict

They love to see themselves as peaceful and easily getting along with the others. People of this type are looking for harmony and stability. Inside they have serenity and they want that to reflect in their surroundings. They want to feel unity with the world and all of the people.  Wanting to keep this harmony, number nines have this belief that they have to be sure that they won't cause damage or create danger. In order to keep peace around them, they choose to adapt to the other world, causing them to reject their own personal needs and preferences. They are special and gifted in creating harmony around themselves. They are calm and have the ability to accept others, optimistically seeking to see in others only what is good about them.  They believe that everything will be all right in their life. They start to grow as a personality when they awaken their personal needs and take care of them.

By developing their personality they wake their natural capability of being good mediators, easily solving conflicts by using diplomatic skills. Inside they awaken personal humility, stability and a unique unity of thoughts and actions. The talent to be able to speak truth to others without stimulating defensiveness from them.  They shine when they gain other people's acceptance. Learning how to give love to themselves, they can then use this to give to others. Learning to create and keep distance when conflict happens, without giving up on outcomes. They become the masters of their everyday life.

talents

Your talents

Connecting everybody

Listening fully

Perfect moderator

Empathic

Patience

grou people

What others of your type say about themselves

  • It is all good with me if it is all good with the people around me;

  • It is very important to have peace inside and around me. 

  • It is hard to say "no" even when I truly know what I do not want;

  • It is very difficult to have personal goals and to work towards realizing them;

  • It is hard to identify myself, it is hard to say who I am and what I like;

  • I often remove myself from others and dive into my own thoughts;

  • I often forget about myself; 

  • For me equality, peace, and harmony are very important;

  • I hardly take initiative and I often give priority to others;

  • I always see both the strongest and the weakest parts in people and situations, acting as the mediator;

  • Before making a decision I consider all perspectives relevant to the situation;

  • It is very common for me to transfer things to the "next day" as long as there is time for them; 

  • I love connecting people together.

heart

When you feel imbalanced

 

Stubborn

Lazy

Avoiding solutions

Forgetting about yourself

Experiencing passive agression

friendship

How to get along with me

  • If you need anything from me it is important how you will ask. I do not like expectations and pressure;

  • I love to listen and take care of others, but do not use me;

  • When you listen to me, hear me out to the end;

  • Tell me when you like how I look;

  • Hug me, show me physical connection. This helps me to open up my feelings;

  • I love conversations but not confrontations;

  • Tell me when you like what I say or do;

  • Give me some time to finish things and make solutions. If it is necessary to push me, do so lightly with no judgment;

  • Laugh and share your happiness in life with me.

“I was a very good child in my childhood. My mother kept repeating to me what a "good" child I was and that she could leave me without any trouble for an hour. She was proud that I was able to occupy myself without needing anyone to look after me. Now I think she's a number nine and I learned a lot of life philosophies from her ... When my mom and dad were would argue, she would stop the disagreements as soon as they started: "If you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything at all." she thought she would end the conflict this way."

– Sandra, 32.

The story of me

"Yes, it's really hard for me to say „no“  to others." A good example from my life is when I decided to learn guitar, I had promised myself that I will practice at least three times per week. After a couple of months I realised that I can only manage to play occasionally. Why? After work, someone would offer to meet and have a coffee, how could I say no? Someone asks for help at work, at home, my husband needs some help with his daily tasks, the kids are always asking me to play with them and help with their homework. If I ever have a spare minute, just at that time I receive a call from one of my girlfriends or my mother and I spend several hours listening to their life stories. I am learning to prioritize my needs and if I decide to do something because I want to, I tell others that I will definitely help them, I just need an hour to finish what I am doing or if it can wait I reschedule to the next day. There will always be someone that needs your time, but there is not often someone who will consider your needs in that moment. If you find time for yourself and do the things you like, you will end up having twice as much energy for others."

- Joanne, 38.

"The biggest challenge in life was to realise that conflicts are a natural part of life. At school, I remember often having a different opinion from others, but I always tended to agree with others and would keep repeating to myself, “We have to agree with each other.” I reacted sensitively if I saw that someone close to me disagreed with me. I felt energy waking up in my body and thought that it is not okay to act in this way. I had more serious challenges once I was at work, there were often disagreements and many opposing sides. My inner self woke up, and I kept repeating in my mind, “We all have to agree.” And only after a long time, especially after the Enneagram courses, came the realisation of where all the roots lie. I was afraid of losing touch with others, I thought that if I had a different opinion, no one would want to communicate with me. By sharing such thoughts with loved ones, I gained a lot of support. I started practicing this around others and I can confirm that now I always express my opinion and accept conflicts as a part of life. I often experience the same fear inside, but now I realize that it is not true – it is merely childhood memories.”

– Simon, 28.

Questions to help understand yourself better

  • Do you believe that no matter what is happening in life, the most important - inner calmness, harmony and peace?

  • Is it hard for you to make decisions? Do you think that your surroundings might react negatively to your decision?

  • Do you agree that before making any solution you need to hear all the parties?

  • Is it hard for you to say "no"? Do you always feel like you need to take in to account everyone needs?

  • Do you think that if it is "all good" in your surrounding then it is "all good" for you? 

People like you: Queen Elizabeth II, Princess Grace of Monaco, Claude Monet, Norman Rockwell, Abraham Lincoln, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, Jr., General Colin Powell, Walter Cronkite, Carl Jung, Carl Rogers, Joseph Campbell, Jim Henson (Muppets), Garrison Keillor, Gloria Steinem, Tony Bennett, Ringo Starr, Carlos Santana, James Taylor, Janet Jackson, Jack Johnson, George Lucas, Ron Howard, Gary Cooper, Jimmy Stewart, Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Loren, Kevin Costner, Annette Bening, Jeff Bridges, Morgan Freeman, John Goodman, Matthew Broderick, Whoopie Goldberg, Woody Harrelson, Geena Davis, Jason Segel, Lisa Kudrow, Toby McGuire, Zooey Deschanel, “Mister Rogers,” “Homer and Marge Simpson"

<-(Source: www.enneagraminstitute.com)

Still doubting your type?

Get in touch or take a test below:

 

 

 

Similar types: The Achiever, The Loyalist.

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Obama The Peacemaker

Levels of development

Moving Healthy to Average  level

My state of being which show that I am moving to average levels: "I feel that I outwardly accommodating myself to others."

"Wake - up call" (read more)  going from healthy levels to average

Moving from Average to Unhealthy level

My thoughts which shows that I am moving to unhealthy levels: "I feel that will be forced by reality to deal with my problems."

Red Flag (read more)  moving to unhealthy levels

LEVEL1  Nines let go of the belief that their participation in the world is unimportant or unwanted; thus they can truly connect with themselves and with others. They also paradoxically achieve their Basic Desire - to have inner stability and peace of mind. As a result of their self- actualization, they become self- possessed, dynamic, serene, and present.

LEVEL2  Nines focus on the environment or on relationships as a whole, desiring to maintain a harmonious stability within them and in their environment. Self-image: " I am steady, easygoing, and kind."

LEVEL3  Nines reinforce their self-image by creating and maintaining peace and harmony in their world. They use their patient, levelheaded approach to mediate conflicts and to soothe others. They are often highly imaginative, inspiring others with a healing, positive vision of life.

LEVEL4 Nines begin to fear that conflicts in their lives will ruin their peace of mind, so they begin to avoid potential conflicts by going along with others. They consider many matters not worth arguing about, but will also begin to say yes to things they really do not want to do.

LEVEL5 Nines worry that any significant changes in their world or any strong feelings will disrupt their fragile peace, so they set up their lives in ways that will prevent things from getting to them. They lose themselves in comforting routines and habits, putter around, and tune out problems.

   More levels we discuss in a class.

Practice for personal grow

  • Practice catching yourself when you merge with others, thus losing yourself.

  • Notice when you avoid pain and negative emotions. Trying to get rid of them in the hope that they will go away on their own.

  • Practice hearing and accepting your needs, observe what you like. Grow yourself as a personality by discovering what delights your heart, from what you derive vital energy.

  • Notice when you feel anger inside but do not share it with others.

  • Notice when you can't find the strength to say "no" even if you want to.

  • Notice the fear which appears when you believe that conflict could break out with others. Not expressing your true opinions or feelings in time will only lead to greater misunderstanding. By not revealing our true feelings and opinions, we do not allow others to know us.

  • Catch your thoughts when you think that you are not special.

  • Recognize your belief that “in order to stay in touch with others, I have to give up contact with myself”.

  • Notice when you start to feel angry inside that you take care of everyone and push yourself aside.

  • Practice expressing anger. Look at anger, see the good in it. Anger is one of the safeguards to understand what we don’t want in our life. It provides an opportunity to give up what we don’t need anymore, to notice parts where we don’t see the value. Allow yourself to say "no" when you feel that way. Practice being open toward yourself.

  • Practice developing yourself as a personality by looking for what you really like to do, what you like to eat, and so on. Build your individuality by discovering life through your personal experience.

  • Look at the value in the word “no”. Most people want to know your true opinion. This way they will actually have a chance to get to know you as a personality. Respect yourself and your time.

  • Improve and grow yourself as a personality. Find areas in which you are interested in spending time. By investing time in yourself, you really don't lose touch with others, on the contrary - by improving your talents, you will improve relationships.

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*The information writing in the website is based on the knowledge: " Wisdom of the Enneagram"  by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson