People of this type love to see themselves as peaceful and easily getting along with others. They are looking for harmony and stability. Inside, they often experience serenity, and they want to reflect this onto their surroundings. They want to feel unity with the world and all of the people. Wanting to keep this harmony, number nines have this belief that they have to be sure that they won't cause damage or create unpleasant situations. In order to keep peace around them, they choose to adapt to the world, causing them to reject their own personal needs and preferences.
It is important for you:
the lives of other people and what is happening in the outside world. To feel in harmony and at peace.
You do not feel good:
having thoughts that you
might be separated and left alone.
They are special and gifted in creating harmony around themselves. They are calm and have the ability to accept others, optimistically seeking to see in others only what is good about them. They believe that everything will be alright in their life. They start to grow as a person when they awaken their personal needs and take care of them.
People of this type can have repressed anger, which they express to their surroundings in a passive way, for example by being stubborn. Often it is very hard for them to say "no", and to find their own place here on Earth. Most of the time they appear between two opposing sides with the instinctive talent to understand all parties. The people of this type often merge with other people's needs and their surroundings, in turn forgetting themselves. This behavior is like a form of protection for themselves, hiding the part of their personality which they think others might not like. Inside they experience fear that, if they show their full selves, some of their qualities may waken anger in others, leading them to forget these qualities in the way they were forgotten in childhood.That’s why people of this type are often seen as peacemakers. They can easily adapt to any situation as long as they can avoid potential conflicts and maintain peace around themselves, which is essential to their own well-being.
In their early childhood, people of this type might have experienced the feeling that their parents forgot them. That causes them to think that, in order to be seen, they need to ignore their own needs, priorities and dreams so they could become the pleasant people that others love to be around.
By developing their personality, they awaken their natural capability of being good mediators, easily solving conflicts by using diplomatic skills. Inside they awaken personal humility, stability, and a unique unity of thoughts and actions, as well as the talent to be able to speak the truth to others without stimulating defensiveness from them. They shine when they gain other people's acceptance. Learning how to give love to themselves, they can then use this to give to others. Learning to create and keep distance when conflict happens, without giving up on outcomes, they become the masters of their everyday life.
What other people of your type say about themselves:
It is all good with me if it is all good with the people around me.
It is very important to have peace inside and around me.
It is hard to say "no," even when I truly know what I do not want.
It is very difficult to have personal goals and to work towards realizing them.
It is hard to identify myself; it is hard to say who I am and what I like.
I often distance myself from others and dive into my own thoughts.
I often forget about myself.
For me, equality, peace and harmony are very important.
I hardly take initiative and I often give priority to others.
I always see both the strongest and the weakest parts in people and situations, acting as the mediator.
If I have the option it is very common for me to put things off until tomorrow.
I love connecting people together.
I have a hard time expressing my anger.
It is easier to say what I do not want than what I want.
Questions to help understand yourself better
Do you believe that no matter what is happening in life, the most important - inner calmness, harmony and peace?
Do you agree that before making any solution you need to hear all the parties?
Is it hard for you to make decisions? Do you think that your surroundings might react negatively to your decision?
Is it hard for you to say "no"? Do you always feel like you need to take in to account everyone needs?
Do you think that if it is "all good" in your surrounding then it is "all good" for you?
Practices for personal growth:
Notice when, inside, you know that you do not want to do one thing or another, but do not find the inner strength to say "no" to what you have been asked.
Bring awareness when you believe that a conflict can break connection with another person. Resistance to expressing your true opinion and feelings will only encourage deeper misunderstanding from others. By not expressing our true feelings and opinions, we do not allow others to know our true personalities.
Engage in active physical exercises you enjoy. Regular exercises deepen connection with our inner world.
Observe how your inner fears of being separated and lonely unfold in your day-to-day situations.
Notice the price of keeping yourself in peace. For example; not taking a job opportunity that’s important to you in order to avoid facing a potentially difficult start in the new position.
If you wish to discover more practices for personal growth,
check out our brand-new Exercise book made specifically for type Nine.
for personal growth
This exercise book was created uniquely to support the personal growth of Enneagram type Nine.