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9 ways to awaken self love

Enneagram knowledge is such a gift for human kind. It is a very well compiled knowledge that can give us a deeper understanding about the depth of human experience. If we allow ourselves to see through the complexity of each personality model we can see that at the basis each of us wants just to be loved and accepted. Although this seems simple, Enneagram shows us the qualities within us that are reaching for this love and acceptance, but in ways that contradict each other, keeping us trapped in beliefs of who we need to be or how we need to act. This then sets us on a path where the more we seek something, the harder it becomes to receive what we truly want. We find ourselves asking for something outside of ourselves and become reliant on what we believe we need to be given. This is one beautiful side of the Enneagram, it reminds us that what we are reaching for we may not have been capable of giving ourselves in our younger years, but this no longer needs to be the case. With our conscious effort we can change our focus and begin to receive that which is important to us, by practicing different actions and awakening the love we so crave to be given from the outside. 



You start to feel loved when:

You remind yourself that you are good as you are. No-one is perfect and perfection in this life is just a mental game keeping you in a critical and lack-focused mindset. You support yourself when you change your focus, noticing all of the positive aspects of yourself and appreciating all that you do to make the world a better place to live.

You turn your focus on yourself and take actions with the intention of looking after yourself, starting from even the smallest needs that you recognise in this moment. With each action you begin to see your love growing inside you. Allowing yourself to say no when you do not want to do something, spending time on the interests that you feel inspired to. You become a mother that puts all of your effort toward providing yourself with the best care that you need.

You no longer allow things outside of yourself to define your value and instead notice the value you have by simply being who you are; the value in your laugh, in what you love about life, in what you choose to spend your time on. You notice how, by being true to your own opinions, desires, needs and emotions you open up an inner wellspring of love that is arises naturally just from your allowing yourself to show who you truly are.

You look in the mirror and you see yourself as you are without trying to be someone else, without reaching to be someone you are not. When you allow yourself to see all of the aspects of yourself, including all the positive aspects you might not normally put much focus on, you notice how unique you are, just the way you are. Everyone has a unique journey on this Earth and you have been given all you need to serve your purpose, and for that reason you are like no one else.

You allow yourself to see each of your day to day experiences as an opportunity, given for you to gain wisdom about life and to give you a greater sense of feeling secure in this world when you apply yourself to all of the different experiences that come. You notice how love arises inside yourself from simply noticing the wisdom you have about life and what it is all for. Each of your experiences also deepens this knowledge, touching you and involving you in life, encouraging you to participate and respond from that which you know and observe to be true for you.

You take the time to notice the fears you have and with the care of a loving mother you reassure yourself that regardless of what would happen, you will be looked after. You start to trust that there is something bigger than you, always making sure that even in the hardest situations you will find a way through, all the while recognizing the beautiful lessons you are learning that will support you in your future experiences.

Support yourself with compassion and allow yourself to recognize what you truly feel and want. Maybe you do not really want to go to that event? Maybe you are tired of always being the one to lift your friend's mood? Maybe you are afraid of taking on that new responsibility? By approaching yourself with compassion and admitting your true feelings, you slowly begin to experience the love that arises from truly caring for yourself and applying yourself where it is valuable for you.

For a day, try taking your guard down and trust that even if someone were to hurt you, whether or not they are not aware of it, you will be able to share how you feel and draw your own boundaries. When you allow yourself to see how much effort you need to put forth everyday in order to protect yourself, you'll feel compassion towards yourself, recognizing that you do not have to always be the strong one that others rely on, but that you can instead be sensitive and open, sometimes even allowing space for someone else to look after you and to provide an atmosphere where you can rest.

Notice the value you bring to the world when you show and apply yourself. Through each of your actions you are more seen by others, you rediscover yourself, who you are, and the beauty you bring to this world. By being present and participating in life you see what a gift you are even in the moments when you are angry and expressing it. You have a purpose on this Earth and by showing your true self you create harmony in your life, giving everything you are here to give and taking everything that is meant for you to receive.


These messages are intended as guidance, as a gentle reminder that love starts from honouring ourselves and being true to ourselves within our experiences. At first it might cause conflicting feelings as we might not receive the outcomes we are seeking, but by staying committed and supporting ourselves in expressing what is true in our inner world, we open the door to a new knowing where love arises just from seeing ourselves participating in life authentically. This new approach changes our behaviour naturally, slowly removing false actions and giving us a new expectation that by being true in the moment we awaken the inner love that is not tied to the responses of others.



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